Saturday, December 31, 2011

TO THE READER (nonexistent)

The title of this blog is just so stupid.
And I'm pathetic.
No one's reading my blogs, anyway.

What's so interesting about my life, really?
My life is NO fun
I'm NO fun myself
Who would follow a NO fun blogger like me?
Oh gosh, life's hard.

This is one of those times when shrinking to the center of the Earth is the easiest.
Gravity's pulling me down.
UH NO- not gravity. that's my self-esteem.


Way To Start The End Of The World

I feel extremely bad today. I think I'm having a really bad day and this SUCKS because it's the first day of the year. This isn't a good way to start and not really the best topic to talk about but it just sucks and I can't help but get it off my nerves. 

Woke up (fine actually) with my cat biting off my remaining flesh away.
Got up and went straight to get my camera.
Went back to bed and viewed the photos taken the night before.
I got up again, now I went straight to the computer and uploaded the photos.
I heard my mother mumbling about new year and the house being dirty and us not keeping it clean.
It wasn't long though when I finished uploading the photos when my camera fell (HIGH) from on top of the lower bookshelf down the (HARD) floor--- broken. 
I was like-- oh my. I'm dead.

And then I heard mother yelling at me and lecturing about how it fell and why the heck did I put the cam there when I should have placed it on a surface a little nearer from the floor, she did repeat that for like a hundred times plus one.
I felt bad about it, at me being stupid and about my mother being mad.
I KNOW RIGHT, it's all my fault.
Sometimes, SHIT HAPPENS.

This isn't actually about the camera being broken or me being stupid.
This is about WORTH.
That cam is worth thousands of pesos. 
I felt bad, really. I was yelled at. I'm stupid.
Now, how much am I worth after that?
Maybe thousands less than that camera. That non-living camera that doesn't even know how to wash those dirty dishes. That non-living camera that doesn't even know what it feels like to be just a pathetic second rate trying hard, copycat.

Hello 2012.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Dear Santa

        You know how much I love receiving gifts from you every Christmas even though I know very well that you’re just some big imaginary creature that parents use to push their children to be good or else Santa won’t have gifts for them. I’d have to confess that I did believe in you one Christmas when I stayed up the whole night expecting to see you climb down the roof and down the tall window of my grandmother’s house in the province. I saw no traces of you and then I fell asleep, but I did wake up with gifts on the foot of the bed and outside the window in the living room. Maybe you just didn’t make it, did you? Or is it because there was no chimney in Lola’s house?